do not mix butter and whipped cream....in the way i did

i am an amateur cook. hell, i'm less than an amateur; i am ignorant.

this morning i made pancakes. remembering the creamy butter usually served with pancakes in most restaurants, i attempted to recreate this by mixing butter with whipped cream. after beating the butter -its already creamy texture slipped by my notice-, i dropped in a dollop of cream that i whipped earlier. immediately, white liquid which, in hindsight, must have been part of the condensed (if that's the proper term) cream, started to slosh around the bowl spraying my shirt and the kitchen with white splotches. dammit.

my sister says my cooking can only be described as comedy. i suppose that implies i should have my show in foodnetwork with an appropriate name like Bad Eats by Rubybox. This remark was made after i told her a story of how i had mistaken dark fish sauce for soy sauce, making my giniling virtually uneatable. i ate every bite of that giniling with large helpings of rice and gulps of water.

now i wonder how long it would take me to be a passable cook. a year of nonstop cooking? 5 years? a decade? in the meantime, i guess i should be resigned to and grateful for the fact that only i will be forced to eat my dishes. it saves me from being sued.

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yesterday, a friend texted me asking if i had been swallowed by my computer since they haven't seen me for quite a while. reflecting on the amount of time i spent in front of my computer, i thought: no wonder my culinary skills are terrible.

added:
i changed the title because now i know the secret!. my friend told me: whip the cream, then add the microwaved butter.